2015 AUG: Light hearted August

Magician

A magician went to the Entertainment centre for an interview. When asked his special feat, he replied, “Sawing people in two.”

When asked about his siblings, he replied “I have three half-sisters and one half-brother.” 

A Man & Robber.

A man was strolling around Parliament Square late one evening. Suddenly a robber sticks a gun against his ribs, “Give me all the money you’ve got.”

“Wait a minute. Don’t you know who I am? I am a very important Member of Parliament.”

The robber immediately retorted, “In that case give me back all my money.” 

Protestant in a Catholic Neighbourhood.

Wesley Smith was the only Protestant living in the Catholic neighbourhood. On Friday evenings during the season of Lent, he would grill his steak and his neighbours had to eat cold tuna fish. So they did their best and persuaded Smith to be a Catholic. The priest pronounced solemnly, “Smith, you were born a Baptist, you were raised a Baptist. Now you are a Catholic.” Next year during Lent, his Catholic neighbours were horrified that he was cooking steak on his BBQ on Friday night and in front of him was a pitcher of water. They reminded him about not eating meat. “I know that. What I did was to sprinkle water on my beef and I faithfully intoned, you were born a cow, raised a cow. Now you are a fish.” 

A Question for the Children.

Finally, a question for the children. “Which is the wealthiest part of Israel?”

Answer: The area around the River Jordan. The banks always overflow.” 

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