Countless times I’ve been crushed to tears,
Suffering in silence, no one sees or hears;
Being a messed-up girl, no one loved or cared,
I was always so timid and scared.
This shadow of trauma constantly beleaguered me,
I tried to move on, but never felt free;
Nevertheless, I worked hard for healing and recovery,
I wanted to be a part of God’s family tree.
For a time, life seems to be going right,
But soon, it was sabotaged by an insidious blight;
Nightmare! The things I built came crashing down —
Forget the scroll and the graduation gown.
(I hid at home, ashamed to go out, cried my eyes out.)
My friends moved on to cities and towns,
Yes, they have their ups and downs;
With new environment, fresh faces, and new next-of-kin,
To move on and start anew, it’s easier to begin.
(I tried to move on too.)
Time passed by, some relationships fail,
And all my efforts, came to no avail;
I evade my acquaintances because of my shame,
And when we talk, feelings are no longer the same.
I’m learning to let go of my inner strife,
Because God is working in my life;
He’s moulding me into what He wants me to be,
And right now, He’s still not finished with me.
I thank God for all the people I’ve known,
While they have progressed so far, I too, have grown;
The past and its people are now long gone,
I now realise — all this while, I’ve been moving on.
It is now time to sing a new song,
If we hit a wrong note, we just play along;
It is time to let bygones be bygones,
T’was hard for me, but time passed — and I too, have moved on.
Michelle is a regular contributor to Asian Beacon and our website.
Her novella “The Mysterious Kind Soul” can be read in our Ebook section.