Whenever I fought with my late husband, he was always the first to make gestures of reconciliation. I would still be fuming while he sent soothing and loving messages through his body movements, soft voice and approaches. So there was no more fuel to fan the fight. I can’t even remember what we fought about.
The same applies to my daughter and myself. We fight for I don’t know what (honestly, things just flare up for some reason). She would always be the first to apologise, castigate herself and tell me she will improve herself. In this way, she takes after her dad. I would be more stubborn, and would never even think I needed to be the one to say sorry.
So, the magic words, “please” and “sorry” become one of the main themes of our families’ vocabulary. The children at the early childhood ages are taught these words in both languages — English and Chinese. They are instant peacemakers!
Sansan Ching ~ (Hongkong)
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