The Pastor apologized to the visiting preacher that the opening part of the service had taken so long. The preacher began by saying, “I feel like an Egyptian mummy – pressed for time.
Orating endlessly on the immortality of the soul, the preacher declared, “Mountains, beautiful as you are, you will be destroyed, while my soul will not. Ocean, mighty as you are, you will eventually dry up, but not I”.
During family devotions, 10 year old Don wanted to know what Jesus meant when He said Christians were the salt of the earth. The father dutifully explained and he appeared satisfied. When he was tucked into bed, he asked his parents, “If we are the salt, who is the pepper?”
Church Bulletin Announcement. “A new loudspeaker has been installed in the church auditorium. It was given by Deacon Long in honour of his wife”.
Fired up by an enthusiastic congregation, the Pastor exclaimed, “Brothers and sisters, the church ought to stop walking and get up and run”. “Amen” was the rousing response. Encouraged, he continued, “Beloved, we must rise and fly”. “Amen” chorused the hearers. “But Beloved,” the Pastor paused so that he could get the full effect, “it will take money to make the church run, we require finances for the church to rise and fly”. An awkward silence followed. A few seconds later someone muttered, “Let the church walk”.
Know why they say he’s a great preacher? When his sermon ends, there’s a great awakening!