2016 NOV: A TIME TO LAUGH

OLD FRIEND 

Thinking he recognised an old friend, Ron said,

“What happened to you Andy? You’ve lost weight. You’ve had so much hair before, now you’re almost bald. You used to have perfect eye sight, now you’re wearing glasses.”

The man looked at Ron surprised, “Look, Mister my name’s not Andy, it’s Tony.”

Ron said, “My goodness, you’ve changed your name too.”

 

PRAYER REQUEST 

   “What’s wrong, Bala?” asked the Pastor.

“I need you to pray for my hearing.” said Bala.

The Pastor then put his hands on Bala’s ears and prayed. When he had finished, he asked, “How’s your hearing?”

“I don’t know. It isn’t till next Tuesday.”

 

TRANSLATION GAFFES

The lift is being fixed for the next day. For today, we regret that you are unbearable.”

Sign in Bucharest, Romania lift.

“Ladies may have a fit upstairs.”

Hong Kong Boutique

“Safety First! Please put on seat belts and prepare for accident.”

Thai Taxi

“Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.”

Oslo, Norway Hotel

“Try our smoked Solomon sandwich. Unbeatable taste!”

Jakarta Café

My Daily Exercises:

Here is a list of exercises I do every day : jump to conclusion, climb walls, drag my heels, push my luck, bend over backwards, make mountains out of molehills, run round in circles, put my foot in my mouth, go over the edge and beat around the bush.

PUNS 

   You may cross the field for free but the bull charges

   Why aren’t fishmongers generous?
          Because their business makes them selfish.

   You know when a clock is hungry; it goes back for seconds.

   I was looking for my missing watch but I could not find the time.

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