By Yuen Wee Mee
Thirty nine years ago when Wee Mee and Poy Hoe were courting, they formed a group with other couples to prepare for marriage. Here they share their activities to encourage other couples to follow suit
You may have heard of a “Bachelor’s Club” or an “Association for the Singles” but have you heard of a “Doubles Club”?
This “Doubles Club” was formed without the pomp and splendour of an inauguration ceremony nor does it have a constitution to stick to.
No, we are not fighting for any rights. We, as Christian couples preparing for marriage just want to get together to share and discuss relevant issues pertaining to Christian courtship and the setting up of a Christian home.
Our aims are:
to get to know one another so that we may “… consider how to stir up one another to love and good works…” (Hebrews 10:24)
to share with one another our hopes, visions and dreams for the future as the Lord has “… called us with a holy calling not according to our works, but according to His own purpose…” (2 Tim 1-9
It all started this way. In late 1977 we (5th year Christian medical students in M.U. and our girlfriends) thought it would be a good idea to get together to have a time of fellowship and sharing. We were all in love and courting. We had so much to learn about courtship from one another. We were also preparing for marriage — God’s beautiful plan for us. There was so much to share about the setting up of a Christian home. We thought also of the fun we would have sharing, praying, singing, playing and laughing together on a group date!
The idea materialised in our first “Doubles Club” meeting in Kwong Sum’s house in Kuala Lumpur on November 1977 (he is one of our early members). Since it was the first time some for the girls were meeting one another, we had a “getting to know you over food” kind of programme. The ice was broken and we had fun.
We met again on a weekend in July 1978 and this time it was at Mimaland. We progressed to sharing aspects of each couple’s relationship which turned out to be eye opening. We got to know one another deeper, and personal love stories were shared. One interesting fact we learnt was that all of us went through similar emotions — hurt due to misunderstandings, impatience, carelessness, the joy of reconciliation and happiness when there was deep communication. It was indeed reassuring to know that we were not the only ones who could be hurt, jealous or disillusioned. It was even more reassuring to know that with God in the centre of our relationships, all obstacles could be surmounted. For our morning worship that Sunday we had “Aquila and Priscilla” as our theme with readings from Acts 18:1-26; Romans 16:3-5; 1 Cor 16:10 and 2 Tim 4:19. Aquila and Priscilla were a couple from the bible we hope to learn from.
The next session we had was a longer and more well-planned retreat at Malacca during the Hari Raya holidays at Ching Jee’s seaside bungalow (Ching Jee is one of our members). This time each couple was in charge of a certain topic for discussion. They were to prepare in more detail Biblical viewpoints on the topic and lead the group in the discussion. Among the topics discussed were:
Finance (keeping bank accounts, tithing, supporting full time workers/missions, buying cars, houses, insurance, luxuries)
Home and Neighbourhood (open homes, witnessing to neighbours, entertaining, visitation, neighbourhood bible study groups)
Church Responsibilities (leading roles: bible study, Sunday school, preaching, ladies’ activities, involvement in other Christian movements: VCF, FES, etc.; Bible courses/colleges)
These discussions got us thinking seriously over certain issues which we might not have considered important. You may be surprised to know that for some of us it was the first time we were hearing our partners’ opinions on them! A great breakthrough in communication was achieved.
The most interesting session we had was with Dr and Mrs Chong Kwong Tek who shared with us on family planning, in-law problems, family devotions, developing each other’s gifts and talents and understanding each other. We enjoyed ourselves very much and it was also from this meeting that Goldie suggested that we write an article about our “Doubles Club”.
OUR CLUB HAS PROBLEMS TOO, SUCH AS:
Difficulty in finding a time and place suitable for all the members.
Inconclusive stands over certain issues due to inexperience and lack of guidance.
An inevitable degree of shyness to share completely.
But we have come together in God’s name and with His grace our aims have been achieved. We hope to maintain contact with one another even after marriage to further “stir one another to love and good works”.
So all you guys and gals who are preparing for marriage, how about forming your own “Doubles’ Club” and help one another to love and fear God. We assure you it is fun and enriching.
Wee Mee is a graduate teacher teaching in Tapah, Perak.