Lessons I learnt
By Goldie Chong
Tek and I were invited by Florence to speak in her Easter church camp Borneo Evangelical Mission Lighthouse in Kuching in April. We knew Florence when she studied for her Ph.D in Perth and attended our church for several years.
Difference of opinion
Tek was keen to go but I wasn’t, the reasons being we just went to Malaysia for Chinese New Year in February and we would be going to London for a family reunion in June. I said it would be too tiring to plan another trip: booking flights, planning our itinerary, prepare the talks, etc . All this is very stressful. I told Tek he better tell the church we can’t come so they can have time to get other speakers.
Over the days I repeated my feelings telling him if he wanted to go, he would have to book his own flight, go alone or get someone else to go with him. I told him emphatically, “I will not go just because you want me to but only if God tells me.” And I did ask God to speak to me but He didn’t seem to give any answer.
Much to my chagrin, Tek kept delaying his reply.* But more than that was my concern “how can God bless this project when we are not in unity even if he goes without me.”
Finally one day I heard him make a call to Florence in Kuching (in another room) so I didn’t hear what he was saying.
While he was speaking, I suddenly heard God say to me, “You go.”
When he finished his call, I didn’t want to tell him what God said. I delayed until the afternoon.
The result? Surprisingly my resistance had turned to willing agreement. There followed no stress about any of the issues I had feared. The topics, content, resources of the talks came flowing, flights booked without hassle, stopovers in KL and Melaka, program decided, etc….God truly kept His promise that when we are in unity He will bless (Ps.133)
Not only did I learn this well-tested principle of unity but another important principle was confirmed: it pays for wives to submit to husbands. To have harmony in the home God has assigned different roles to every member. The husband is the head and the wife is to submit to his leadership. This does not mean blind obedience as many have misinterpreted. Normally the best way to come to agreement is by discussion and consensus – because both are intelligent, capable and see things from different viewpoints, but when there is a deadlock, the husband should have the casting vote and the wife should submit. God will honour her decision and give His blessing. In my case, because I was reluctant and unsure, I asked God to confirm to me and He did, so that I submitted willingly and graciously.
In the afternoon when I told Tek I would be going after all, I asked, “what did you tell Florence on the phone?” He laughed, “I said we were coming.” He knew all along his recourse was to. God.
*At the camp Chris the church elder revealed he was praying for the camp in the church prayer meeting when he stopped halfway and felt hot- something was wrong. He suspected we were not coming. Elder Dr Lim had to finish the prayer for him. It seems that was the point when Tek and I were not in agreement.
Related: Going to Kuching Family Camp: Tek’s side of the story Read …