During his sermon, Pastor Jones noticed that one of his members had fallen asleep and his head was resting on the shoulder of his wife. “Wake him up!” barked the Pastor. The wife looked up and quipped, “You put him to sleep. You wake him up.”
A drunk stumbled on a baptism service down the river. He jumped into the water and walked towards the pastor. “Good,” said the man of God, “Are you ready to find Jesus?” The drunk nodded.
The preacher immersed him into the water and pulled him right up. “Did you find Jesus?” “No, I didn’t,” said the drifter. So he was immersed in the water the second and third time. Each time when he got up, he was asked the same question and his reply was “No, I did not.” The pastor pushed him under the water for the fourth time and when he emerged, he was again asked, “Have you found Jesus yet?” Wiping his eyes, the old drunk asked, “Are you sure this is where he fell in?”
The best anti-ageing cream is Ice-cream. What other food makes you feel like you are an eight-year-old again?
You never realize how boring your life is until someone asks you what you do for fun.