He: Go on, don’t be shy. Ask me out.
She: Okay. Get Out!
A civil servant from the city decided to go rambling in the countryside. As he walked across a field, he found himself being confronted by a fierce, angry-looking bull. He shouted anxiously to the farmer standing by the gate, “Is the bull safe?”
“He’s a darned sight safer than you are!” the farmer yelled back.
An English couple were visiting the magnificent palace at Versailles. As they strolled through the grand banqueting room, the husband nudged his wife and said, “Just look at the couple coming towards us. Typical tourists! Don’t they look ridiculous!”
When they reached near the end of the room, they discovered the wall was one enormous mirror.
A Nigerian Christian, who was a teetotaler was debating with an Irish Christian who loved to drink. They were discussing the relative merits and dangers of alcohol. The Irish drinker blurted “Water is more dangerous than alcohol. Ordinary water has killed more people than liquor ever had.”
“Why do you say that?” asked the amazed teetotaler.
“Just look at all the people who died in the Flood.”
Tim: The other day I bought a book; “How To be; Boss in Your Family”.
Tom: That’s great, Brother. As a man; you should exercise control over your wife; so that she’ll know who is truly the boss.”
Tim: But there’s a big problem. My wife does not allow me to read it.