Light-Hearted


2017 MARCH: A Time to Laugh

WHY DO COUPLES FIGHT?

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels..

She asked, ‘What’s on TV?’

I said, ‘Dust.’

And then the fight started….


My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, ‘I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 100 in about 3 seconds.’

I bought her a weighing scale.

And then the fight started….


When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace

expensive.

So I took her to a petrol pump

And then the fight started….


My wife was standing & looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with

what she saw and said to me, ‘I feel horrible. I look old, fat and ugly. I really need

you to give me a compliment.”

I replied, “Your eyesight is perfect.”

And then the fight started….


I sent the above to my friend.

He sent it to his wife

And then the fight started!


LIVING OR DYING

Last night I was sitting in the living room, talking to my wife about life.

In- between, we talked about the idea of living or dying.

I told her : ‘Never let me live in a vegetative state, totally dependent on machines and liquids from a bottle.

If you see me in that state I want you to disconnect all the connections that are keeping me alive, I’d much rather die.’

My wife got up from the sofa with this real look of admiration towards me proceeded to disconnect the Cable TV, DVD, then the Computer, the Cell Phone, the iPod, and the Xbox, and then went to the bar and threw away all my Whisky, Rum, Gin, Vodka the Beer from the Fridge…

I ALMOST DIED!! 


BEFORE & AFTER

BEFORE MARRIAGE….

Man : I have been waiting for this day

Lady : Do you want me to leave?

Man : No Lady : Do you love me?

Man : Of course

Lady : Will you ever cheat me?

Man : Never in my life

Lady : Will you ever hug me?

Man : Every chance I get

Lady : Will you hit me?

Man : Are you crazy?

Lady : Can I trust you?

Man : Yes

Lady : Sweet heart

AFTER MARRIAGE : Read from bottom to top

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