A Time to Laugh January 2018

Life is short. Smile while you have teeth.

I want to be a caterpillar. Eat a lot. Sleep for a while. And wake up beautiful.

Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts and one diamond. By the end you wish you had a club and a spade.

One day, I am going to make onions cry.

I may look like a potato now. But one day I’ll turn into fries and you all want me then.

TEACHER: Robbie, go to the map and find North America.

ROBBIE: Here it is.

TEACHER: Well done. Correct. Now Class, who discovered America?

CLASS: Robbie.

BOY: Excuse me. I would like to buy a curtain for my computer. Can you please help me?

SALESMAN: You don’t need a curtain for your computer.

BOY: My computer has Windows.

Senior Pastor went off for a week’s vacation and left Sunday’s preaching to his Assistant Pastor.

When he returned, he asked his members how the sermon went. “Oh, it was such poor preaching. Little substance.

No structure.

It was evidently a very poor effort”.

The Senior Pastor was furious and summoned his Assistant into his office. Speaking in a sarcastic voice he queried, “Pastor Lee, how did your preaching go last Sunday?” “It was excellent,” the Assistant Pastor replied. “You see, I didn’t have time to prepare anything myself. I found one of your sermons and I preached it.”

What always Runs, but Never Walks?

Often murmurs, but never talks? has a bed but never sleeps?

Has a mouth. But never eats? .

ANSWER: unravel the letters: irrve

What am I?

I have seas without water; I have forests without wood.

I have deserts without sand; I have houses without bricks.

Who am I?

ANSWER: unravel the letters: salta



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